I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
