i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
