I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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