Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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