i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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