So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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