You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
