Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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