just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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