hell yes lets make some ravioli
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
