dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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