It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
party gras won. party gras always wins.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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