so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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