i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
