Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.