I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
Love having children with random chicks
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.