I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
