You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
