My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
