recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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