I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
