you turned your livingroom into a bong?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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