God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
