The beer is more important than you right now.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
