Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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