the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
