Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
