So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize