Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
