there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
