Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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