how can u be prego again
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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