It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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