dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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