Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
