Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
