i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
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Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
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Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...