Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just pee around me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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