The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize