Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
