No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
