Porn is love you can see.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I would fuck him just for his dog
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
