FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
