I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
