My hand turned me down
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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