There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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