somebody snuck up and got me drunk
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize