if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize