Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
