i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
