if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
