we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
