I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
