Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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