She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
