he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
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he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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