just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
