THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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